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When you think about which animal you least want to show up when you're wounded and helpless, lions pretty much take the cake (and your face, and then some limbs, because they're lions). They're 300-pound, 6-foot-long cats that look at you as nothing more than a delicacy at a fancy lion restaurant they like to call Africa. But as we've noted before, lions also have a softer kitten center that leads them to care for some unlikely creatures.
In this instance, it's a 12-year-old Kenyan girl who had been missing for a week. It turned out that she had been abducted by several men who were trying to force her to marry one of them (because who has time for romance?). But when the authorities finally found her, she was alone, her kidnappers having fled. Instead, she was surrounded by three lions that had scared away, and hopefully maimed, her captors.
The police said that the lions had been guarding her for about half a day when they got there, not only abstaining from munching on the little girl themselves, but also making sure that nothing else got close to her. When the police finally arrived, the lions departed, perhaps roaring "Everybody gets one" as they left.
Experts say that the lions might have been reacting to the girl's tears as if they were the mews of a lion cub, but we all know the real reason: The little girl is a Beastmaster.